So, although this is titled Bratrace and should therefore be a hybrid of “ratrace” and “brat” posts I am compelled to write about what is really affecting me these days.I am interning in an inner city school district right now as part of my master’s training. This is not the first time I have been employed in an inner city. I worked for an agency that did home visits to developmentally delayed/disordered children and got to be quite familiar with some of the housing projects there in the process. But this, well, it is different. I am seeing these kids after years of exposure to a impoverished environment. It is not the same, seeing a new baby just born, full of potential and without the cognizance to know what lies ahead. You can’t compare that to a child that is familiar with their plight, the evil cycle of poverty and struggle and has been beaten down by it. It hurts me more to see a child sleeping with his head on his desk because it was hard to sleep last night in the cold apartment with no heat and 30 degree temperatures. It sucks to read a kids file 5 inches thick with page after page of child protective services reports documenting neglect or trauma history. I should not see a 12 year old with PTSD from events I am not able to even think about without having nightmares.These are kids. They are children trying to make it through the school day one day at a time. These are families. They are trying to figure out how it got so bad and what their options are. I used to think that with hard work and proper education the cycle could be broken. It is really easy for someone not in poverty to think that. But then I realized, you know what, when I go to fill my gas tank and the prices are 3.75 and I am pissed off I feel like ” What the hell! How are we supposed to afford this?” But I still get the gas and I drive away pissed. Now apply that pissed off feeling to everyday. To every minute. Not to gasoline, but to food, rent, clothes. And then take away the ability to purchase the overpriced item at all. Now look at your kids and tell them, ” Well, I know you’re hungry but the price of groceries is getting crazy so we can’t buy them.” Now try to just go on with your life while your kids sit, hungry, beside you. Yeah. I can’t imagine it either.So, now I am in the schools with these kids. I am looking them in the eyes and asking them how their day is going. They don’t miss a beat, they are far too smart for that. ” Fine, Ms.K.” Hell no it isn’t. It is so far from fine.
